"I look inside myself to find my peace"

Saturday

How To Achieve A State Of Happiness

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile.  I have found that although difficult we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns, like being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own way of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate.  Let's face it when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It’s going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. 

It's all a matter of what you tell yourself and allow yourself to feel. 

You can wake up every morning and say to yourself "I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "Here we go again, another day".  It's really matters what we say to ourselves.  I call that self talk.  So you may ask, "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, you can start writing a daily journal.  Take the time to write how you feel about your day, the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully. Then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and which things you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run. Surround yourself with positive things, affirmations, watch positive tutorial videos, stay away from negative people.  If you must encounter them, as we all do sometimes, don't allow their negative energy to grab hold of you. Allow their negative vibs or energy to flow past you. Keep to your own feelings of staying positive.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done.  Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness.  Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others.  Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Don’t sabotage yourself by not acknowledging any negative thoughts, acknowledge them and tell yourself that these negatives do not serve you in anyway that’s positive. Then let those feeling go immediately. I like to envision my negative thoughts as floating up into the universe away from me.  As if leaving them to the creators. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable thoughts and make it a goal to change to creating positive results. It is very possible for anyone of us to make changes for the better, but we must start with how we think about ourselves first. 

Remember, to change for the better, it's how you self talk to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will form the pattern of how you think.  Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive reflection on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind. Your thoughts create your life.






Copyright©2014. How To Achieve A State Of Happiness.Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved. 

Monday

A moment of poetic inspiration.


                  
Shadow of my Pen

Shadow of my pen
caught my tired eye
Writing without reason
Follows my desire
Walk along beside me
Tip by tip we blend
Feeling all the rhythm
Flowing through my hand

All the letters bouncing
A bigger life than I
As my pen it dances
Where I choose to fly
Will I share my passion?
To keep my dream alive
Or will I let it slip?
Without the will to try

Stumbled down I have
Lied there reaching out
For anything to help me
Understand what life's about
Now I see this purpose
It has brought me to my knees
But this never ending circus
Keeps me in displease

Still I keep on writing
Through my sense of doubt
Just so I can show you
What I think life's about.

Taken from the book:  Through This Addicts Eyes
By:  Celeste Vitello

Thursday

Mirror - Who Is Starring Back At You?

Look in your mirror. Go on.. have a look. What do you see? Who is starring back at you? When you look at yourself are you looking at only your reflection? Only how nice you look? Do you take a moment to look deeper then only what you see on the surface? To see how we appear on the outside to other people. People for the most part use the mirror only to checkout their look. Is the hair just right? Do the clothes look good on you? "..does this make me look fat?.."  Is the makeup too much, too little or just right? Are you handsome? Are you pretty? Everyone does this and it gives us confidence to go about our day. But what about those times when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't feel good about what you see? You feel depressed or down about yourself or things going on in your life. You don't think you look nice at all. Which in turn only makes you feel worse about yourself. There is much more going on with your reflection than you may know. Did you know that other people whom you associate with like those at your job or in your class are like your mirror? They will reflect you.

A simple concept, yet one that many people are either unwilling, or unable, to grasp. Your emotions, your traits, and your feelings are reflected back at you from other people. Either through in-kind responses or through predictable reactions to the emotions or feelings that you're projecting. Most of the time when negative feelings are going on with ourselves it projects out from you to others around you. You can sense this when we meet someone for the first time and we may feel a negitive "vibe" from that person. They could be having a bad day themselves and they are just in a negative state of mind. Altho' first impressions may cause us to draw a conclusion about someone like that. Passing judgement wouldn't really be accurate. This is due to how that person feels within themselves and it projects outward to others they may come in contact with. Now a lot of people have developed the ability to put their best foot forward. Even when things may not be so positive for them. This is a good trait because what you think about within will project outward and show on the surface.

Altho' there are people that carry themselves as if everything is great in their lives. Only to feel totally different when they are by themselves. These kind of feelings should be addressed because there is something more going on that they should resolve or change. If you have to falsify feeling good you should assess what is wrong in your life and change it. I'm talking about being real here. True feelings and how they effect others and reflect you. You will project what you're feeling inside. People who seem oblivious to these kinds of senses are usually so absorbed in what they are doing that they miss it. So when you look in that mirror next time. Get in close, look into your eyes and make a detemination to yourself that you are capable, you can decide how your day will go. You will have a positive, productive day. Even though absurtities and negatives come into our day no matter how positive we are. The key to maintaining a positive healthy reflection is by not giving any negative events any power. Handle any problem with the best positive resolve you can, stay positive and if you catch the right moment, offer a pleasant positive comment to someone who may be experiencing a negative day.

For most people hearing kindness from someone can give them hope and make them feel better. Believe it or not, once you realize the power of positive re-enforcement, this can be helpful to someone who could use the positive boost in their life at that moment. For ourselves, when was the last time you told yourself that you respect, trust and love yourself and you have worth and value as a human being? Try this while looking in your own eyes. Do you think you need another person to give you that? You don't. When we learn to love and trust ourselves we begin to care more about what we do, what is good to keep in our lives, what to change for the better and how our outlook changes our own perception of ourselves and our lives. We allow ourselves to feel good about who we are as a human being. We are no longer concerned about what others may think. After all that is their business not yours. We find that we can do a lot more things than we thought because we gave ourselves the chance to prove it by developing our own belief and support system from within. And when you look in your mirror, you no longer think how you look to others. You think how good you feel and look to yourself. You'll feel a new confidence about you.

Thats the key to embracing who you are and excepting yourself for the beautiful spiritual being that is alive within you. You will reflect your thoughts and shine on the outside when you allow truth to unfold within you. Its all about embracing who you are, acknowledging any faults, excepting what cannot be changed, and letting go, releasing negatives instead of holding onto them. They will only cause you grief and harm. Negative thoughts are empty energy that only zaps your positive outlook. It is quite easy to go through your entire life and never develop the innate skill of spotting yourself being reflected in other people; any development in this area will improve your self-insight and your relations with others.


Copyright(c)2014. Mirror - Who Is Starring Back At You? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Skinny vs Fat - We Need To Have A Change In Mindset


In a discussion about overweight people and how they are seen. I couldn't help but interject my perspective about it. I see the problem of there being too many conflicting opinions out there. Altho' doctors have proven that being overweight is unhealthy and it can be for us. Certainly being at our proper body weight for our height is key to not being susceptible to many health issues. The views that a woman who is overweight is of lower value or appreciation than a skinny woman is merely due to the concreting of lustful desires by people who are in a position to put it out there that this is how it should be. It goes as far back as the dawn of man. The same applies for men who are too skinny or overweight also. The man who looks like Adonis, all cute, gorgeous, has a nice body with ripped muscles. Will definitely turn heads and is pleasant to see.


We all look at attractive people and seem to appreciate their looks over someone who may not be as attractive or as in shape. Because most people only see the outside. This is due to what we've always been told, what we've all seen growing up, what kind of examples we're subjected to, whats always been in magazine covers and movies. We've been programmed to accept a thin attractive person over a fat person. Even when applying for a job, it seems that a thin woman or man would be more likely to get the position first. I'm not saying we shouldn't be healthy and care about our bodies. I'm saying we need to have a change in mindset that allows people to develop a healthy attitude towards their bodies and people need to be taught, from childhood, a form of living healthy and having a positive attitude about themselves. Some would say that a person who is overweight is usually compensating for some sort of insecurity, lack of belief in themselves or they may lack the ability to correct or change their negative thinking. Of course that IS wrong thinking which can be and needs to be changed.

Healthy mind, healthy body. Everyone is born with their own ability to achieve what they aspire to. But sometimes people receive negative feedback or are subjected to wrong thinking. Because we have the ability to change how we think and feel, we can overcome negative input and turn it into our strengths. In doing that we learn self confidence, we have positive self esteem and there's a positive energy we feel and we reflect outside ourselves. Have you ever noticed how bright and attractive a positive person is? They have a healthy energy or glow that is nice to be near. Thats the beauty we ALL need to develop within ourselves. Seeing a person that is beautiful on the outside is pleasant to look at, like a beautiful painting or work of art. Whatever things you may think about when you look at a beautiful person is of your own making. It doesn't determine that we have to look like that person in order to have self worth or value as a human being. Young people truly need to learn this truth. I've never seen it etched in stone that we only have self-worth or value if we are handsome or pretty, thin or fat. That view was man made.

All this, is about what we see growing up, taught as children and how we learn to love ourselves and appreciate the beauty within. I heard a quote once and it fits right into what I'm trying to state here: Healthy mind and the body will follow. In doing so we can all shine and share the light of true beauty as it is meant to be seen. Don't be influenced by what you hear from self absorbed conceited people. See yourself and others for who they really are in heart & in actions. Don't believe what you see in magazines, on TV or in movies either. All that fakeness is just to get you to buy something or watch something. Consider the source, its not a rule or way of life. Love yourself and love will be allowed to exist. 


 Copyright(c)2014.Skinny vs Fat - We Need To Have A Change In Mindset.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday

Entitlement - A Priviledge or A Problem?

What does entitlement mean to you?  For many of us it means giving ourselves a privilege or reward that we believe we deserve or we've earned. Usually its something material. We usually feel entitlement when we've done something that makes us feel we should be rewarded for our efforts, in some way, besides monetary. The actual definition of the word entitlement is: right granted by law or contract, especially a right to benefits, the act of entitling, the state of being entitled. For those in recovery, for whatever type of addiction, entitlement can be a priviledge or a problem. We all tend to elaborate on that definition of the word entitlement and we take it to a level that appeases us. How many times have you said yourself, ".. I've done such a good job, I deserve a beer!.." or perhaps "..I've worked so hard today I deserve to buy myself something nice!"  When we work hard, we would like to have some sort of reward, besides what we've earned on a monetary basis. Something that we can reward ourselves for getting up and staying on top of all the things we do everyday. Now there's nothing wrong with that, except human beings almost always have the tendency to overextend or overdue their entitlement. One thing I've seen in people along my journey in life is people take so much for granted. As wonderful as we all are, entitlement is right up there with being taken for granted by all of us at some time or another. We justify it by telling ourselves, we deserve it. Now going on vacation, when we can, to renew and refresh ourselves, to get away from it all. There's nothing wrong with that. Thats one of the best things we can do for ourselves. It's awesome when we can do that especially with good friends and loved ones. So long as we don't over do our entitlement. Its very uplifting for anyone.

It becomes a problem when we believe entitlement should be our reward or should be available to us at anytime and for some people with addictive thinking it can cause a relapse back into their addiction. Believing there is no harm in just this one time. It becomes wrong when our sense of entitlement is blown out of proportion and we use it to justify self serving desires or gluttony. Isn't it funny how our addictive thinking waits and hides in the depths of our minds and raises its ugly head when it knows we are about to treat ourselves because we feel entitled? Remember, addictions are not only drugs and alcohol, they are also sex, gambling, shopping, overeating too. People with addictions will always have a struggle with their addictive thinking throughout their lifetime. Of course the struggle gets easier to overcome the longer we stay away from the things that cause us to be addicts. Our thinking has changed for the positive. We become stronger at subduing our addictive thinking. But for some, there are times they tend to lean back on what they may have had as an addiction as a form of entitlement once in a while. What happens is you may start out with your addictive thinking by just having one drink or a taste of your doc, just one turn at the craps table, overextending your credit card for that one little item you must have. Because you did such a great job that day, you feel you are entitled. And you notice that you feel relief, better after having that one drink, that little taste of your doc, that one throw of the dice at the craps table, just that one item that won't overextend your credit card too much. All these things we think to ourselves, because we feel we have entitlement and are entitled. So the next couple of days go by, you do your routine, you work hard, get things done and in the evening when you're relaxing you say to yourself, "..I did such a great job today, I deserve a reward, perhaps a drink...but just one!"  You proceed to have your one drink. It feels good! The alcohol hits your nervous system, it relaxes you, you think "..wow, it's amazing..it's like a prescription medication how it affects you." It was just one drink.

So the next day goes by, you worked hard, got a lot of good stuff done today. You think you have it all under control. You convince yourself to fall back on that one drink, once again, your doc, one more throw of the dice, one more item on the credit card, even overeating because you've earned it. Now because you've been clean/sober for a while, the tools you've learned in recovery and you've used them all this time to stay away from your addiction. You start to realize what you're doing is wrong. Because we've learned to love ourselves, even guilt creeps in our minds about it. You've convinced yourself that "just one" won't hurt. You walk a fine line believing that you can be like people who are not addicts, who don't suffer from an addictive nature. You think you no longer have an addiction, you can control the side of you that is addictive thinking. For most people in recovery, there will always be addictive thinking at some point. Time has gone by, having a sense of entitlement has happened quite a few times. By now, that entitlement, has become 4 or 6 drinks, a few more hits of your doc, more times at that craps table, overeating things you shouldn't eat a few more times. You see the progression. The proverbial addictive snowball at the top of the hill is starting to roll down on you.
If you haven't stopped already, you know its better to stop now! That's when you realize the way you think about entitlement is corrupted by your addictive thinking. People who are no longer addicts, even after so long of being away from their addiction, like a computer file, the way some people see the entitlement process has been corrupted. It's something we all have to work on and learn not to allow our addictive thinking to control what we are entitled to give ourselves or do for ourselves as a form of reward or gratitude. For these people, it's a work in progress that will last their entire lives. The best thing to do is get a handle on it, own it, embrace it, stay a step ahead of it and help others who are just coming into the front door of recovery as they make their way through their positive changes and out to the backyard where seasoned recoveree's already stand.  



Copyright(c)2014.Entitlement-A Priviledge or A Problem? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved. 

Wednesday

Joy In Living

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only within yourself. (by Chief Tecumseh)

Starting the day with a positive thought sets the tone for everything that follows. Instead of focusing on your troubles and worries, we can think about our blessings. How lucky we are to have a warm, dry place to sleep, good food to eat, nice clothes to wear, a job to go to, family and friends to support us, a new day to enjoy, fresh air to breath. And most of all how lucky we are just to be alive.

"I will take a few minutes when I first wake up to think about the many good things in my life" (by Linda Picone - The Daily Book of Positive Quotations) 

Sometimes we may feel as though we don't have anything to be happy about. Everything feels like a hassle or is not working out. Grant it, sometimes life can feel like a real pain for us. Now take a look at those couple of sentences. The operative word being used is the word: feel. When we feel a certain way its our thoughts or emotions that determine how we feel about things. Since we can learn to control our emotions or direct how we think, it gives us the option to layout our attitude towards the day in a positive light. Its actually up to each of us, how we see each day upon rising. If you are unhappy about your life, stop looking to find fault and make the changes necessary to make your life a better place for yourself. If you're in a situation that is negative get on a plan to get out of it! If you dislike your job, first off, think where you would be without it and if you must, start looking for another job. But don't dwell in the swirl of angry thinking or feelings of depression. In reality that form of negative thinking only surpresses your abilities to work things out for the positive. If its too overwhelming, you may need counseling to help give you a hand up and out of the rut you're in. Eitherway, its important to always see the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark your life may feel for you. Remember how you think creates your life. If you continually think negative, you will feel negative, your life will be negative and negative things will be attracted to you like a magnet. Instead deal with what disrupts your happiness and turn it around so you can exist peacefully.. hence happier. Its up to each of us to plot the course of how our lives will be each day. So be the captain of your life, think positive about yourself and your life, steer away from negatives, be the captain of your spirit and enjoy the day. You only have one life to live, to the best of your ability, why not make it a positive and happy life for yourself and your family?



 
Copyright(c)2014.Joy In Living.Created by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Sunday

Thoughts As You Walk

Sometimes life can feel like a mean step parent. I mean for most of us, we wake up each day, do our routines every morning. We rush through something we call breakfast and we set off for the day. Research shows that breakfast should be the healthiest and best meal of the day. Its our fuel for energy and focus. Most of us have a job so we go to work. We get into our vehicles and crank them over never once thinking how fortunate we are to have it. Have you checked the oil, radiator fluid or tire pressure lately? Its good to do that on a weekly basis. Keep up the maintenance of your vehicle and it'll always take good care of you. Some of us take a bus never thinking how lucky we are that they exist. Walking to the bus stop did you even once take in the brisk morning air and thought how good it feels to be alive and healthy? Did you happen to see the hawks flying above your head? Or were you too busy hating the idea of having to walk to a bus stop to get to your job that you really didn't like anyway. You're thinking, the sooner you get to work, the sooner you can get the day behind you. Always feeling a little happier about work on pay days. Do you ever stop to think about the abundance of beauty there is all around you? The oxygen filtering trees in a courtyard or how crystal blue the sky looks today. The innocent beauty in the smile of child. Or even the musical laughter of children at play. The kindness of a stranger. 

We humans are excellent at taking things for granted. We've done it so well for so long that we don't even realize we're doing it. It becomes like breathing. For so many they've forgotten what "natural beauty" really is. Its not some airbrushed attractive picture on the cover of a magazine. Everyone has become so focused on material things and making money. So much so that they've become blinded to true values. Its not our fault that the powers that be are the ones feeding us the spiel that money is all. We've become so jaded to the subliminal persuasion we don't even question it. Having money is good when utilized properly and not squandered on material lusts. Having what we need to live, paying our bills, buying healthy foods is good. When money is looked at as a source of power and greed it becomes evil. But when money is used as a tool to live and help others it becomes a blessing. So its up to you how you see it and use it. Selfishness seems to override generosity more than not. People in general have forgotten how to be generous because so many times in history when people were generous towards others, they were taken for granted. It has left a sour taste in the mouth of generosity. But with good judgement on our side generosity can thrive once more in our circles. 

With the freedoms of differences we have in our societies today, everyone should look at the world as if it were a field of flowers. So many beautiful kinds of flowers, so many beautiful colors. Like us we are many different beautiful kinds of people and many beautiful different colors. There should be no room for hate. Hate is a seed that leads to destruction. It conceals and obscures the security of peace which should exist across our entire planet. I think and believe people are products of their own environment. I also believe they can choose to change it. But many choose to stay in that mindset. Some people just don't think they can ever change their circumstances, thats wrong thinking. We have the power within ourselves to change and get out from beneath negative circumstances. But we have to work at it to make it happen. If you believe you cannot change your world then you have deemed it so and it will not change for you. To much talk, thoughts as you walk.





Copyright(c)2014.Thoughts As You Walk. Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.